the in-between
This has been a weird week. I'm sort of "between seasons", that's the only way I can put it, I guess. I have middle schoolers and a second grader and I'm not really feeling needed lately, even though I totally know I am. I should maybe view this as a blessing...my boobs are no longer required to keep someone else alive, I'm not needed for hair washing or nail trimming (for the most part), my house is quiet after school because kids have scattered to do homework or play outside and I'm just here. I'm not chairing the preschool board anymore or planning the biggest school fundraiser of the year. I'm not knee deep in design school or rushing out the door to get to preschool drop off before I head to the clinic. It's a strange feeling, almost a numb feeling.
All day long, I find ways to stay busy, but I somehow feel like I am accomplishing nothing. I work on my business, add new accounts, clean up my books, do some design work throughout the day. If I'm not doing that then I'm walking the dog or throwing yet another load of laundry in the washer, wiping toilets, grocery shopping and planning for dinner. It's just quiet right now and I don't love quiet. But I also don't love chaos. I'm just in between.
I'm guessing that this is where some people choose to add another baby, too old for that (and honestly, while I love all things baby, NO THANK YOU). Or maybe another pet? Nope, been there done that and Jake is pretty amazing as an only dog. Maybe I need to hop on to a design firm and have a more regular job...but, then how stressful would that be when 2:00 to 4:00 rolls around and five hungry, loud, obnoxious and needy children burst through the door wanting a snack and need help figuring out the area of a parallelogram? Or ask for help with their Health homework (ever had to explain to your kid what the epididymis is? thankfully, I have dissected one so, much to their embarrassment, I totally know all about that).
So, I'm stuck in the in between right now. I know this season will pass and I will be missing it some day. I know there might be awesome opportunity waiting right around the corner and I just have to continue to be patient. I know that this is the season I'm supposed to be in right now and I'm sure, for many moms, it might be the sweet spot of motherhood. I'm trying my very best to embrace this in between for all the good that comes along with it! So join me as I raise my glass of pinot noir (or beer, water, coffee, La Croix or whatever you might be sipping on right now) to all of the other in between mothers, I feel you.
